All parents want their children – whether biological twins or large blended stepfamilies – to respect their final wishes, remember them fondly, and honorably use the inheritances left. To that end, many couples spend lots of time (and a fair amount of money) considering, deciding and articulating how their cash and other assets are distributed. Equal financial benefits are thought best to avoid later disputes (or worse: lawsuits). The real-life battles caused by poor or no estate planning make headlines and provide finger-shaking lessons for us all. The parents’ personal effects, however, are often given short shrift even in sophisticated plans: their division is often “as agreed, or if not agreed in 30 days, sold with proceeds equally divided.” This is all well and good for coin collections, Lladro figurines and sterling candlesticks. These items have ready markets to establish and deliver undisputed values. 

But seasoned probate litigators know a secret that estate planners and clients should better appreciate: people will fight over The. Craziest. Things. Giving an executor the power to sell or dispose of personal property after 30 days is inadequate to avoid disputes, indeed it more often breeds them. We have seen families litigate, and even cut ties, over the division of sentimental heirlooms with nominal or even questionable monetary value, including but unfortunately not limited to holiday ornaments, grandmother’s china, mom’s needlework, grandpa’s dog tags and dad’s medals, even potted plants, costume jewelry, and sunglasses. Such families would be better served by a distribution system under which each beneficiary may select something to keep, without financial considerations. The order of choosing can be anything from Oldest to Youngest to alphabetical by birth month, so long as it allows for rounds of selections. Practical challenges arise, naturally, but an executor empowered to address these is in a far better position to preserve order, ensure that mementos go to loving homes, and maintain family harmony. Financial peace of mind is an excellent motivator for creating a thoughtful estate plan. Extending that purposefulness to personal property distribution provides a gift separate from the inheritance.